Just saying hello

[abyquest2009]

I have been reading the forum off and on for a few weeks now and thought I'd finally pop in and say hello.

We have never been to a nude resort and are not currently swingers, however we are definitely curious to give it a try. The past year, and more recently, the past couple of months, we have been talking seriously about getting into the lifestyle, or at least giving it a try.

Without getting into details, we are both interested in seeing each other with different people, as well as being with different people ourselves. Always together of course, but interested, just the same. Only thing is, we have not yet acted on this so it's all just speculation currently.

We are considering trying hedo in Jan for our anniversary when we renew our vows. This would be our second honeymoon and sort of an entrance into our new "life" together I suppose.

Between now and then we are planning little "events" to test the waters so to speak before going to hedo at that time.

We are not here looking for partners or anything, just sort of reading to see what others think of hedo or the lifestyle (for those who are into it) and what we can expect when we give it a try ourselves.

So far, the info in this forum has been VERY good. Especially the topic on boundaries and safe words. That has been very reassuring as to how to handle situations and has made for some pretty interesting conversations for us.

I am currently working overseas so this has mostly been a lot of discussion and some planning for my first trip back home (not the trip to hedo) and how we will test the waters so to speak.

Whether or not we actually get into the lifestyle ( I realize this site isn't necessarily about the lifestyle) has yet to be determined, but thanks to the things I have read here from all of you, our communication levels have definitely changed and improved.

Thanks for all of the great info and I hope to meet some of you one day at hedo.

BTW, we are staying somewhat anonymous until we have gotten a bit further in our discussions with each other. I also do not reply to private messages currently because I'd rather keep everything in the open. Down the road, that may change. Hope that doesn't offend anyone.

[luvtobenude]

The best thing you can do is talk,talk and talk some more. Set a boundry before you ever get involved with anything! If your not sure how far you want to go, always better to start off slow. Most people in the lifestyle are very understanding and respectful. You have to make it clear to the folks you are going to "play" with, that they know your limits and you also have to know what their's are. This is not to say there will never be an strange moment, you and your partner are just going to have to be ready to handle that moment. Remember that most folks are in this for the fun and excitement, not into it to watch another couple getting mad at each other because they didn't talk about it before they started. Kinda ruins the moment! Talk.......Talk.......Talk

Have fun

[Luv4hedo]

Hello, and welcome to the forums. I understand your need to be anonymous, I have thought about creating a new ID just for that purpose. But changed my mind when I thought that I would be in some way deceiving all the wonderful people I have met on the boards. That being said, here goes.

Hubby and I have played... ok pretty hard-core, with friends of ours, things just kind or happened and well, that’s another story, but it was before our first trip to Hedo.
Last year when we went to Hedo we didn't really experiment too much with the "Lifestyle". I did play a little with another women, but that was the extent of intimate interaction with another’s.

Hubby and I have talked a lot about taking it further on this trip. I mean that first time that we played with friends, I mean I can’t even put into words what it did for our relationship. We were so much closer, & our sex life… damn never better. I don’t know just thought I would share my info with you. Feeling like I am in a similar situation I look forward to reading your thoughts on some of the discussions on the board.

[weliveinvegas]

Welcome Welcome...starting slow is not a bad idea, as mentioned above, talk talk talk about it some more, make sure its what you want to do. We started out by going to a lifestyle club here in Vegas, just watching others, moved up to letting others watch us and then the next logical step, playing with others. It was not an overnight process and we had much more talking between each phase, it worked for us, you mileage may vary...

Have fun...

Ivy and Rick
"Once you go, you will know"

[abyquest2009]

Thanks for the replies, I've actually come to post twice now in response and lost them due to my net connection. Here goes again, new day new luck, lol.

We are definitely taking it slow for now since all we really have is time to talk about it. Like you, weliveinvegas, we are looking into the local lifestyles club for when I'm home on leave. We are both pretty sure we have no problem with doing things together in public, although I'm sure in the beginning there may be some stage fright issues But the whole idea is something we really have no problem with.

Anything more though will definitely take some steps to really get comfortable with. We are considering a couple other options to decide if we are ok with the whole other partners thing, or if it's something to eventually file into the fantasy section of our lives.

Luv4hedo, you are pretty fortunate to have stumbled into your initial experience. I'm not sure if I personally am comfortable with people we know at the moment simply because in my mind I can separate people we don't know into a category that is simply a good time between adults and with people we do know, I worry about what if it doesn't work out? Can we keep it separate without ruining anything, either between us, or us and them? Not sure I said that very well, but it is something I wouldn't want to risk at the moment. One day down the road that may all seem silly, lol.

Luvtobenude, we definitely understand that and thanks to all of you, we are doing our best to be sure in advance that we understand our own boundaries and rules. This is something we think we can handle, but thanks to all the advice from people like yourself, we are able to take steps we honestly hadn't really thought about before and simply worried about what ifs. Simple things as safe words hadn't really popped up, or what we would do if things changed mid stream. Now we are actively talking about not only how far, but when we will decide if things can go further. Not in the heat of the moment, which is something that was on our minds as to how to handle.

These things seem simple enough, but it's funny how many of the ideas posted about here hadn't really crossed our minds before. Now we are able to go into this much more informed.

It really is amazing how much more open we have been since discussing this stuff and I can't wait to see how things change as far as that goes once we have taken our first steps. If anything, it makes for some interesting chats each night when we talk online.

[BigC]

My advice is definitly make sure whatever you want to do you both know and just as importantly what you don't want to do! My husband and I have been married for 30 years and going to Hedo for 12 years and the last 7 years been talking about what we would like to happen when we go!! We had set boundries and no meant no and so on! Every year it never happened until this time! My husband wanted another man to share in our fantasy! I had been nervous because I had never been with another man only my husband! But I am sure there isn't a woman out there that wouldn't be turned on at the thought of 2 men pleasuring her! So yes it was a fantasy of mine also! We met a guy and my husband invited him to join us and it was a great experience but some of those boundries were broke in the heat of the moment !! Well let me rephrase that my husband never mention the boundries to the other man!! And I guess I thought it was his place not mine. Actually I would like some feed back on that!! The next day my husband was quiiet and I asked him if he regretted the night before and he said no not at all but if we play any more this week I don't want him to do this or this!!!!! He has talked since then about how hot it was! But all the talking we did before seemed to not exist once we got started! So Be aware of that!!! Hope you go and have the time of you life!!

[weliveinvegas]

Thanks for the replies....I'm not sure if I personally am comfortable with people we know at the moment simply because in my mind I can separate people we don't know into a category that is simply a good time between adults and with people we do know, I worry about what if it doesn't work out?

And that's what makes the lifestyle so much fun, differences. Our #1 rule is friends first. We know that the body parts will connect, we just need more than that, friendship first has worked well for us. The trust factor you get from friendship means a lot.

Ivy and Rick
"Once you go, you will know"

[jw459]

When you first try a nude resort you will be amazed. You automatically belong to a select "club" and suddenly everyone will talk to you, and you will make many friends very quickly, especially around the hot tub in the late afternoon. This does not mean you have to be anything but friends with anyone. You just share a unique bond already. If you wish to go further follow the advice above, but enjoy the freedom of meeting new friends no matter how far you eventually decide to go.

[JnT08]

And if you both decide you do not want play with others, don't let that stop you from going to Hedo. You will find it is a very relaxed place. Just keep your line of communication open with your SO. And remember to laugh and make friends.

[abyquest2009]

Thanks again, everyone. We are planning for January if all goes well, and even if we are not sure about or decide against playing with others I do think we will go. My wife is very interested in going somewhere she can let it all hang out without worry.

BigC, thanks for your post. It is definitely a good warning about what we think we are ready for, and what reality may be.

It sounds like everything worked out for you and I am sure, thanks to you and others, we will be as prepared as we can be when we do put our toes in the water.

[CopNkitten]

You will have an amazing time no matter what you two decide. Hedo is a great place for all kinds of people.
Paul + kitten....